A Letter to C-Section Moms

Dear C-Section Moms,

You ladies are amazing.

Really. Truly.

I’ve heard the strange comments you’ve received (“It must have been nice to not have to give birth” or “So, you couldn’t handle the pain?” or if you have a VBAC at some point “So great you were finally able to experience birthing”), as if what you did experience was merely some zen form of osmosis.

I’ve seen the look of some of your faces when asked about your child’s birth-guilt, shame, sometimes verbally dismissing the whole experience as unimportant, since it doesn’t measure up to a vaginal birth. You sound apologetic, as if you did something wrong-something less than worthy.

And it breaks my heart.

Because you’re amazing!

You’re body is amazing! You GAVE BIRTH TO A HUMAN BEING!!

You willingly went through major surgery to make sure your child was ok. Then endured weeks of painful recovery while caring for that new tiny life. Your body will forever bear the scars of that sacrifice-that incredible love you have for your child.

You are not a cop out. You are not a failure. You did not “give up” and settle for an easier option.

You fought. You sacrificed. You endured. YOU GAVE BIRTH.

You amaze me.

You are moms, just like the rest of us. Having a C-Section birth did not give you a false start or disqualify you from the “real” moms’ club (and if there is one, I still haven’t figured out how to get in…).

Be proud of what your body has done. Please tell us your birth stories! They’re incredible, and I for one love hearing them! There will be some that will discredit what you have endured, but ignore them, because the majority of us think you are amazing! We want to share the joy in your memories, because the joining of a child to a family-be it vaginal, C-section, through adoption, or fostering-is joyful!

You ladies are strong, beautiful, extraordinary mamas.

And I salute you.

Sincerely,

A (so far) Vaginal Birthing Mom

 

A Note on Kids

So here’s the thing…

I’m still a young mom, and definitely do not have this whole motherhood thing figured out yet (or ever will...), but there are two absolute truths about children I have learned:

  1. If there is a room that is clutter free and open, they will always gravitate there to play.
  2. More toys out and about= more complaining and boredom from said kiddos

(side thought: I’ve noticed many adults function the same way…)

Anyway, our family seems to go through a cycle (and I’m sure many of you fellow moms will recognize it): we have a season of accumulating more toys (birthday, Christmas, hand me downs, visits from grandparents, etc…)-our play/spare room becomes cluttered-kids lose interest in toys/playroom and gravitate to the nearest open space (living room)-more complaining and boredom ensues

We have recently been swept into this cycle once again. Take exhibit A:

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This was two weeks ago. I know it doesn’t look like an overwhelming amount of clutter, but after one container of toys was dumped out, the kids would soon after vacant to the living room (cue whining…).

Enter Mama Bear.

I took some time one afternoon and executed a quick sweep/purge:

  • zebra push toy was stashed on a shelf in the closet until baby #4 needs it (Little Bear is fairly confident in his walking abilities now and rarely notices it anymore)
  • baby activity center (we like to call these the command centers) is also no longer being so used, so moved to guest room along with the empty plastic container for the next Goodwill run
  • play rug is adorable, but I quickly noticed that the kids don’t actually play on it, they just trip all over it while running around. So I rolled it up and stashed that in the closet until my mom’s next visit (she was lending it to us)
  • quickly sorted through toys and removed anything they have not recently played with, and added those to the Goodwill bag

After all was said and done, take exhibit B:

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Again, may not appear drastic, but it always is enough to the draw the kids back into this room. They once again have more space to play, run around, and be more creative with their playing.

I noticed that I’m the same way too! Space to think, create, and simply LIVE is a wonderful thing…but requires seasons of ruthless examination of my own possessions.

But you know what?

I never regret doing it.

 

 

Simple Project-Back Patio

Remember my list of simple, achievable goals for our little rental? I have finally taken care of updating our back patio!

Here is what it looked like a short while ago:

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A little messy, right? And that lovely strip of dirt (that never grew any grass!), would become a lovely strip of mud every time it rained (which of course, always seemed to fall on grocery day…)

Something had to be done.

This was the first time we have ever had a patio, and I was excited to make it into a more livable, fun space! So after a couple months of subtle changes (gifted patio furniture from the parents, found a temporary shed in which to place all the lawn equipment/toys, moved the grill, and rounded up some new + used stepping stones to fix the mud path issue) and scrubbing the vinyl siding clean…..

Here is now how it all looks:

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The kids have far more space to play, and enjoy the backyard, and the seating area makes it feel more grown up (it’s amazing how “adult” you can feel setting up patio furniture…), and a bit more….well….OURS.

I’m excited for autumn weather, leaf piles, walnut gathering, and more opportunities to relax in our little outdoor nook with mugs of tea, watching the leaves gracefully fall.

And….I’m also excited for next year’s changes that I’m already planning: more potted plants on the patio, pillows, and maybe a chalkboard hanging on the fence for the kiddos.

Simple, subtle changes. Sometimes, they’re the best ones.